Handling Expectations From Other People Regarding Your Wedding Photography

It’s a familiar concern that many photographers hear, that a couple is upset because their parents want a particular photo during the wedding day and the couple has no interest in that photo. Very often this “most wanted” photo by the parents is sparked by tradition or the belief that there are certain photos that “one must have” on a wedding day. Here’s just a few that are often mentioned:

• The photo of the mother adjusting the bride’s veil
• The photo of the father of the groom shaking the groom’s hand
• The bride with bouquets on her train looking over her shoulder
• Hands and rings over the bouquet
• Table shots with the bride and groom and all the guests

There’s an old phrase that pertains to the card game of poker that says, “You got to know when to hold ‘em and know when to fold ‘em.” Let’s examine how these wise words can apply to all of the opinions you may be facing regarding those well-meaning “must have” photos.

Hold ‘em (Stand Your Ground)
If you are fighting with your parents over the style of photography than you want, then you may have to educate them. These photos are going to last a lifetime for you, and you may have to stand firm on the style that you want, but thoughtful communication is vital here. Show them photos that you like and if they can be done quickly and with a minimum amount of fuss, then do it and get on with your day.

Explain to your parents why these pictures are meaningful to you and what you want your photographer to capture on your wedding day. Show them the websites of the photographers you are considering and their philosophy, and how trends have updated. Help open a dialog as to why the photos they are insisting on are meaningful to them as well as their feelings about the wedding day photographs.

Fold ‘em (Compromise)
If it’s a photo request you don’t particularly want, but don’t have strong feelings against, then a compromise may save you time and heartache, especially if it can be done quickly. If it’s a photo with your distant cousins that you barely know that your aunt is insisting on, then lean on your professional photographer to help you navigate these waters. They deal with overzealous family members and friends at nearly every wedding and can help you make a plan to get those photos taken care of quickly and done with a minimum of fuss. 

ISPWP photographers are time-tested professionals and have the experience and the professionalism to help you with your wedding photography planning! Find one in your area here.

Photo by Franck Boutonnet, Paris Wedding Photographer